One-man Show Lover Gifts

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

Trial by Media

Trump! The Musical

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

Beam me up. Scotty!

Situation Tragedy.

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'I'm a star!'

Paris, 1922, George Gershwin and Franz Kafka try to write a musical.

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

Menopause and the City

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

'You have the right to remain silent. . .'

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

'I wasn't going to destroy their country until they introduced me to the cast of 'Jersey Shore'.'

Good Morning Britain

Paunch and Judy.

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

Larry David

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

Clownton Abbey

Magician creates magic square

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

Magic Accident

'The records show, I took the blows and did it, the way of whatever sheep happened to be in my way.'