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'All Dressage tickets have gone, but I managed to get two for Beach Volleyball instead.'

Olympic Diary - February 9th.

'P.C. Graham being on Olympic duty does not mean. . .!'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Bowled over again!

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Go team!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

350 Feet.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Ball as water-melon.

Cricket Accidents.

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Hockey Season.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

Mohamed Salah

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!