Old-timer Racer Gifts

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

You had me at vintage.

"Convertible. Must be nice."

Snail Racing

"I'll bet you were good at making skid marks?"

A tessellation of running figures.

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

Geriatrics clinic: 'Wine, women and song, Doc! But not swashbuckling too!'

"Is it just me or are wagon wheels smaller than they used to be?"

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

"The Hare's demanding a dope test !"

"When was this license issued?"

Man who has crashed his safety bicycle

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

"Tyler lost interest in baseball once he tried old-time boxing."

Tortoise being tested for performance enhancing drugs.

Runner with a kick-starter.

'Orville keeps bragging about restoring that car. He fails to tell people it took him 70 years.'

The Finish Line

How's My Charioteering?

Men riding a penny farting.

'It's an old biking injury.'

"I hope you didn't over do your first bike ride in twenty years."

"And this is one of me in the 3:30 at Doncaster"

Car trouble.

It had been many years since Mitch had given up on the idea that he might find his ideal companion...

'Ride his bumper! If anyone tries to pass you, ram 'em into the wall! Don't be cautious! Floor it! Floor it!!'

Indentured Birthday Cake

Welcome class of 1919: It was a sad, yet triumphant day for Sid.