Old-school Tech Avoider T-Shirts

"Grandpa, you remind me a lot of myself in my pre-tech years."

I.T. Fear

"Go ahead and laugh, but this baby hasn't crashed since 1961."

"Tarzan no want computer."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

2016 Policlicks

Analog Alzheimer - Digital Dementia

"I envy you, not having any idea of what's going on these days."

'With all this fuss should we buy a typewriter in case we get raided?'

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

"Digital? We're not even cable ready!"

"If you're going to use a TV as your computer monitor, I suggest investing in a new model."

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

"My insomnia is getting worse, doctor - I can't even sleep now when there is a party political programme on television."

"Oh my God have you seen this sh-"

'The professor can read hieroglyphics on ruins and in tombs but he can't read text messages on his cell phone.'

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."

"At last — no Trump."

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

'The news on tv is SO depressing, I've decided to stop watching it.' 'Is that permitted?!'

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

Man in cell phone shop - 'Do you have a phone that just phones?'

'Letters, letters, letters - why can't you learn to text?'

Enjoy our cell phone free ambience.

Day two of my political diet. I haven't watched FOX, or MSNBC. I haven't read the news pages of the paper. Scribble scribble scribble scribble scrib - I also haven't had any sweats, or racing hearts or hives. Write write write write scribble write. So I can probably start watching Hannity again tomorrow! Absolutely not. Doctor's orders!

'The evening news will not be seen tonight, because most of it is stuff you're better off not knowing anyway.'

'Your father can't come to the phone right now, he's stuck in his ways.'

'I want you to stop watching the 'Cable News Network,' and switch to the 'Ignorance is Bliss' channel.'