Old-school Sympathizer Gifts

'But, Grandma, saving the number to SIM is like writing it in your book instead of on your arm.'

"What old school? This is my life."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

"Everybody meets online these days."

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

Abacus.

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

"I'd like to make a return."

'Here's my report card and here's my personal disclaimer.'

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

'Beat it! I've got a computer!'

"He refuses to watch the NEWs - living as he does, in the past."

"Eugene is retro. He thinks everything was better in low-def and black and white."

"I've gone for a retro phone."

"They just don't make 'em like Doc Malone anymore!"

Workers constructing barcodes

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

'Mom calls this a diary where you write private thoughts no one else can see. What fun is that?'

"We don't let computers mess up your medical records. We do it by hand."

Church in the year 2035.

'This doesn't leave much room for creativity.'

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

"I would rather you not email me your answer!"

A Sweeping Reform.

"Gracie, I'm proud of you for reading the newspaper."

Private Phone Calls