Old School Music Listener Gifts

"Have you seen my CD player?"

Gen-Next Library

Bryan Ferry

Playing Mozart to the baby.

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"Everybody meets online these days."

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'

Cybergoth.

Luthier

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

'I still love those classic solos from the 70s - but who has the time?'

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov.

Birdwatchers making each other playlists

"Books are tricky. You can't text with a text book and you can't call with a phone book!"

'It's like listening to the 1950s. You can hear the dentures whistling.'

Rolling Stones

"This is where I keep my entire music collection."

Ineffective conducting.

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

'Oh darling, it is not an ibook, it is only a book.'

Oldies Band.

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

Early music

'Don't touch him. He's grandfathered in.'

Watch with Mahler.

'Lost your kindle in the cab? Try my outdated destined-for-extinction, low-priced print edition.'

Dr. Jekyll turns into... Elvis Presley

Music at Home Pt. 2

White cliffs of Dover

"Actually, I'm sitting here reading a book—just to see if I can still do it."

'But you told me to go out and get some fresh air.'

"It's your Grandpa's version of keeping up with technology...reading the papers online."