Old-fashioned Trooper Gifts

'To think what I loved about you was your old-fashionedness.'

Old rocker.

You had me at vintage.

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

The Romantic - Heart shaped medals

"Brian's been pursuing a successful career in the City for 25 years..."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

Speed Limit Enforced from Aircraft.

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

"'Holy cow... She can't spell for #!@*. Is that a 'T' or an 'L'? This entire letter is a grammatical nightmare!"

'-and who's next?'

Astronomical observations.

"What's the rush? He'll still be dead when you get there."

Ideas before their time Telegraph office. You're wasting way too much time using that thing to forward jokes.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir, my mistake. That sign was meant for someone with a less expensive car."

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

"Im curious about your dependent children. I believe their names are Scamp, Scruffy, Flop, Spunky, and Lady."

Super Bowl Monday

Keith Richards

"My little brother was too short to wear a sheet."

'It's my birthday. I'm giving a free cup of coffee to everyone that gets a ticket.'

Speed Limit Enforced by Slow Aircraft

Clown car full of policemen

Postman delivering a sack of mail through heavy snowdrift.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'The show must go on!'

Deja Viewer

"Shall I put you down for a state trooper cap, T-shirt, or coffee mug?"

Flight Departures

I'm startin' to think burnin' out for twenty-three years is the same damned thing as fadin' away.