Old Dog Lover Gifts

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Playing Fetch.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

A Good Batch.

"Pick me!"

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

Licensed Therapist

"Foster failure"

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"Quick, start the car!"

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'