Old Movie Lover Gifts

'Dat was jus' a warnin', Detective Jones. Get off da Bozo case!'

The Lone Ranger receives a disconcerting smoke signal from Tonto....

Laurel & Hardy

'Psst! It's the invisible man. Try not to state at his new hair piece.'

Film Noir

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Leslie Caron.

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"Housekeeping?!"

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

Buster Keaton

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

Jimmy Cagney.

All-Verbal Westerns

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

Two men in love, sitting in vintage champaign glasses

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, in all the solar systems, in all the galaxies, in all the universe, she walks into mine.

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."

Queen Kong

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

Martin Scorsese

Stan Laural & Oliver Hardy.

'I want a brain, but I'd settle for buns of steel!'

Reluctantly, Indiana Jones reaches for the true cup of Christ.

'You believed Bing Crosby was a priest. Why can't you believe Ronald Reagan was a president?'

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

Fred Astaire