Oil Company Professional Pillows

First and last day as oil company spokesman...

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Spot the difference.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

Got stuck in Iraqi oil, Unca Sam?

Terrorism leaves Iraq and moves on to new places.

'Let's call him lucky!'

"Now I'm just cleaning up."

US Energy Needs.

Libyan Crude Oil

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

Snake in the grass...

"To join OPEC you must be a country and filthy rich in oil."

"Mr. Bush, this is Vytautas Landsbergis, in Vilnius. Guess what."

'No way! To fund health, education and welfare, we'd be forced to tax oil companies!'

Ethanol and foreign oil.

Car Breast-Feeding

"It really was a no-brainer, selling drilling rights at the North Pole."

Take me to your leader. . .

National Oil Reserve (Formerly National Wildlife Reserve).

'I don't care if you are the CEO of a large oil company, you can't claim your soul as a business loss.'

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

Keystone XL

Terrorism premium on every barrel of oil.

Low tech tech friendly solution to the gulf oil spill?

Energy trap.

Acme Petroleum, since 1925 and 9/10.