Offstage Dreamer Gifts

"I feel as if everything in my life has happened offstage."

He kept up his guitar practise...

Bookworm Sleepover

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

Night-time halo

"When I grow up, I want to become president and eventually the subject of a groundbreaking, critically-acclaimed Broadway musical."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

The Mouse King appears in the Nutcracker

Rainbow Quartet

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Big screen TV.

'What rhymes with D minus?'

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

'I have a feeling one day when he grows up he'll be an artist of some kind.'

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

Ballet dancer.

Learn to play the violin in one weekend - 'This isn't working! It's Saturday evening already and I've only got as far as holding it properly...'

The world's most unemployable family

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'But enough of our golden oldies! Here's a new one we just wrote called 'Middled-Aged Hearing Loss!''

I love my Uke.

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

"Keep practicing, and someday you'll be able to play the two songs you remember at houses that also have pianos."

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

"Not now. I'm working on my children's book."

Don Quichotte

"Sorry, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."