Offline Book Collectors T-Shirts

Rare Books

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Victor Hugo

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

J. R. R. Tolkien

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

Woman blowing dust off book 'Desert Romance'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Characters jumping out of a book.

Great British Eccentrics.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

Do it yourself books.

Sue the Author 3PM

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Sock Puppet in Literature

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'