Office Wisecrack Gifts

Pounding speeds up the computer.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

Copycats

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Storm in the out tray

Can do...No can do

Here and There Trays

Working hours.

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"Morning, all!"

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'