Office Supply Warrior Gifts

"Keith takes office politics very seriously."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"No, kid, we don't call these 'attachment icons.' We call them paperclips."

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'I hate Mondays.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'Dog eat dog.'

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Working 9 to 5.

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Why am I running?

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."