Office Rivalry Aficionado Prints

Foam Finger Envy

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

You were warned about mixed marriages.

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'When training my son, keep him totally ignorant. I'm grooming him to be VP in-charge-of -denials.'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

Scapegoat of the Year

'Underestimate him at your own risk. When he first came here, everybody laughed and said he didn't have a snowball's chance. Now he's our regional supervisor. Go figure!'

'Here you are, Simmons!'

"So how did the rest of the team respond to your promotion?"

'You are smarter, faster and more efficient than Carter... they's why I'm making you the new assistant to Carter!'

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

"I need to catch you after the meeting."

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

"For God's sake, just split the last donut!"

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

Quiet Please: Merger In Progress

'The boss is taking me along for a working vacation. I'll be doing his work while he has fun.'

"Congratulations. I'm promoting you from 'Yes Man' to 'Vice President in Charge of Affirmation.'"

'Not my short list, O'Neil! You're on my other list!

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

'Do you still wonder how Kevin got his promotion to VP?!'

Buck Stops Here

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

'Looks like Kryson is no longer in the inner circle.'

'I'll crunch the numbers and get back to you.'

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

'How could anyone think that this department is under staffed?'