Office Pranks Gifts

'Third quarter profits are down 3%, but we're expecting a rise in - Johnson! For the last time, stop trying to pick my nose!'

Man pulling a chair away before his colleague sits down in an ethics committee office.

'Training managers to improve morale is a waste of time...I think that all you need is to provide a fun experience for your staff...'

'What happened to my desktop?! I can't find anything!!'

Man sticking his tongue out at his boss.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Let's not go by the book.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Bo're'droom

Here and There Trays

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'Salaries Manager. No.'