Office Party Aficionado Gifts

'Absent friends!'

Self-Employed Christmas Party

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"The meeting will come to order."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

Here and There Trays

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

That shows business confidence.

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Party Animals.

Sign - Halt manager crossing

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"