Office Olympics Organizer Gifts

'Miss Jones, exactly what modifications have we done to the secretarial pool?'

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

Face painting.

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Face painting by numbers.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

Extra Long-jump

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

"Yup, marathon meetings all day."

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

Prize vegetables with rude names.

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

Tenafly International Film Festival

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'