Office Laughers Pillows

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #1

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Bo're'droom

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'