Office Insurrectionist Gifts

The free and sovereign republic of the ninth floor.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

Do Not Resuscitate

Bo're'droom

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Here and There Trays

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

'I hope you replace your divots.'