Office Holidays Gifts

Attention Span Remaining: 3 minutes, 27 seconds.

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

School holidays

"At least we're consistent ... "

'I'm from the creative department, I don't actually do anything.'

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

In and In Too Deep Desk Organizers.

'I can live with you not wanting to push the envelope, but your refusal to think outside the box...'

'I apologize for sending out the meeting memo late. Let me summarize by saying that the entire board is being replaced starting tomorrow.'

"Apart from that, Bob, what else did you learn on the team-building paintball weekend?"

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

"Having our team all work on the same page has been a lot more difficult since our company has gone paperless."

Why do I have to go to camp? What's the alternative? Fend for myself like the resourceful youth of old! Right! The kind who worked dawn to dusk! I'll tell your dad you'll be right over to haul mulch for the nursery. The baseball camp sounds plenty rugged!

"I made him out of my mom's mashed potatoes. Since there's no snow, I had to improvise."

Office worker chips a golf ball into in tray on a desk at work.

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

"Yeah, I keep a clean desk. Now all the mess is in the computer!"

'That's Friday, Ed.'

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

An August Bank-Holiday in the East End.

"I don't know which needs charged more, him or all the devices he was on all summer."

"I'm sorry I'm away from my desk, but it's still in my thoughts."

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'