Office Fitness Gifts

Office Safety.

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Fine - you don't want to run in the corporate 5K - I get it. What about the corporate cage fighting team?"

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

"Apart from that, Bob, what else did you learn on the team-building paintball weekend?"

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

Office worker chips a golf ball into in tray on a desk at work.

"Yup, marathon meetings all day."

"It's called a treadmill workstation, not a stationary rat race."

Frustrated at the office.

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

"Daddy needs to relax. He spent another long day at work extolling the virtues of his stand up desk."

Heavy Workload

'Sales has challenged us to a snowball fight.'

'The company have been very accommodating in allowing him to train in office hours.'

Happy Office

No, dear, I couldn't workout today, but I did do some strenuous selling and rigorous reinvestment!

Gigantic Titan Inc personnel: 'We have plenty of computer nerds! What we need is jocks to make our softball team more competitive!'

Lady keeping fit by skipping with her mouse chord.

Jack felt much better, now that he was working out.

Rowing machine attached to a desk.

Reduce stress-related injuries and turbo-charge your career with these easy workstation exercises!

The Executive Manual of Exercise

Corporate Gym. Executives Only. The lawyers say even though all us executives are losing inches with the corporate fitness program, we can't tell investors that margins are improving.

"Scoot over. I could use a workout too."

"It's Friday, Steve - have a donut!"

'Says you like to play practical jokes.'

The people downstairs are complaining about your extra curricular activities.

"If your going to get frustrated with your computer and assault it, may I suggest stretching first. You have three pulled muscles."

"Joey, are you on break again?"

"Wouldn't you get a lot more work done if you switched to a different type of software?"

"Our mandatory fitness program has nothing to do with health. It generates electricity, which saves the company money."