Office Dramaturge T-Shirts

"Pay attention when I'm talking to you. I see your eyes darting back and forth between me and the clock."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

German Expressionist Breakfast

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

Tragedy/Schadenfreude

Situation Tragedy.

"Anyone else see weaknesses in my report?"

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

Strong Female Lead

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"It's the never-ending struggle between the State Department and the Department of Defense."

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

Ben Jonson.

I know they told me not to bark

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

Globe. What I like about Shakespeare's plays is that they're so unrestrained! He's a real "no holds" bard!

The Last Husband and Wife Team Hired

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

You want to watch it here, a lot of back-stabbing goes on.

Now a procedure! Someone suggest a procedure! Surgery at the Improv.