Office Comic Reliever Gifts

"Corporate Diversity would like you to get a sex change."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

Break Glass in Case of Stress

"I don't know, what do you want to do today?"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

Tourist in the desert

"In order to raise some working capital, the company has sold your souls to the devil"

In and Out Trays

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.