Office Chair Adjuster Gifts

'Would you care to hold until Mr. Jyles is better adjusted.'

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

D.I.Y

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

The Move.

"That's a very good suggestion, perhaps one of the men would like to make it?"

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

"Is that Technical Support? My computer's fine - I just don't know how to operate my chair."

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

'I'll have to let you go, Bob - Ted, from accounting, is challenging my position as alpha male!'

"I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you."

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

STRIP *Community Care * Office rage"

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

'I am trying to bring about change.'

"The insurance company needs to see the alleged piece of straw before they’ll process your claim."

"We've had to create a whole new area in our filing system for your claim, Mr Butterfield.'

"Teams work better when members don't call each other a 'useless waste of skin'."

"That's what I like about you Smedley - you're not afraid to show fear!"

Pregnant woman going to 'Accident Claims'.

"This is a family business. She won't order you to do something. She'll nag you."

'Remember to be nice to people on your way up. You might need them to do hard time for you later.'

'I'm afraid, unless you can show proof you're employed by God, I'll have to deny this claim.'

I bet those are accident reports.

It's important to get to know the unspoken rules of office life...