Office Adversary Pillows

'Hey, dirt bag, bring back the pencil.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

Five doors: Push, Pull, Up High, Down Low, Too Slow.

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

You are here.

'I hate Mondays.'

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

'Dog eat dog.'

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

Why am I running?

Free Range Employees.

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

Working 9 to 5.

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

Responsibility and duties