Offering Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Bill me!"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

Do Not Resuscitate

Cariactures

Selling lemon latt�

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Dog Walking Services

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.