Offense Enthusiast T-Shirts

Permanently Offended By Something

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

The rocket powered skiier

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

A day at the transgenic races

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'If mum's not around, amber means...pedal to the metal, baby!'

'It says it works so fast, it's accumulated seven thousand years of vacation with pay.'

Living with Ulrich, such an adrenaline high.

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

Dairy Devil

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

Cristiano Ronaldo

'Don't be a wisenheimer.'

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Nobody wants to play tag with me at school: They say I'm too fast...'

NFL quarterback slides feet-first to the ground and avoids a mugging,

Little ship of horrors

Skier flying past mountains

'Will you stop! You know that freaks me out!'

Disco Owls

Speeding Forklift

"Here's the weak point."

I will not waste chalk kid...

Owl Through Time