Offense Enthusiast T-Shirts

Permanently Offended By Something

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

The rocket powered skiier

A day at the transgenic races

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'If mum's not around, amber means...pedal to the metal, baby!'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'It says it works so fast, it's accumulated seven thousand years of vacation with pay.'

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

Living with Ulrich, such an adrenaline high.

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

'Don't be a wisenheimer.'

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

Dairy Devil

'The English player has hit the net more times than the entire England team in the football World Cup!'

Cristiano Ronaldo

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Skier flying past mountains

'Will you stop! You know that freaks me out!'

Little ship of horrors

NFL quarterback slides feet-first to the ground and avoids a mugging,

Disco Owls

"Do you know a good chiropractor?"

'Nobody wants to play tag with me at school: They say I'm too fast...'

Speeding Forklift

"Here's the weak point."

Owl Through Time

He won't stop talking about being the fastest ever. He's a broken record about breaking a record.