Oenology Gifts

'I've tried it - it's a 94.3829366, at best.'

'How do I know we need to turn down the filtration system? - This is our cabernet sauvignon.'

'It's time to retire from the winemaking business, Maurice - Just look at your skin-to-pulp ratio.'

The Other Wine Connoisseurs Were Beginning to Question Pete's Credentials.

"This cabernet sauvignon will have you feeling more like yourself in no time."

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

'You people in Napa really take your wine seriously.'

'Black currants? Cherries? Tobacco? No, that's not what you're tasting at all.'

'Four years, for a wine degree, from UC Davis...for this.'

'He's been in the wine business so long, he can remember when Chateau d'Yquem as Cabin d'Yquem.'

A man polishes a giant wine bottle.

"I'm not a wine snob. You're a wine ignoramus."

"Very wishy-washy. . . really lacks conviction. . ."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

The Jeopardy of Progress

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

Wildlife

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

'The circle is complete!'

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

North Pole

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

Deforestation.

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."