Odor Wrangler Pillows

'Fifi's having problems with flatulence!'

So you're a mocking bird...

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

'I love you...but you don't half stink!'

Editor.

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

"We need a better piling system."

Literary rain

'Now that's what I call soil conservation.'

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"I see here the party of the first part says 'potato.' The party of the second part says 'potahto.' The party of the first part says 'tomato,' the party of the second part says 'tomahto.' Both parties, by mutual agreement, wish to call the whole thing off

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

Unsubscribe-A-Mole

"What's wrong with my filing system?"

Ice Fishing

Skin Deep. Hey, that's my dermatologist! He must be doing pretty well! One man's rash is another man's pleasure!

Adult Education Evening Class: How to sort your rubbish.

"This contract is gobbledeegook. . . I asked for mumbo jumbo!"

Women Argues With Cabby Over Prices.

'It IS an interesting hat isn't it? I made it from the skin of the last dog that fouled my mooring ropes!'

Super Plant Food.

Fancy portrait of the gentleman who killed the greatest number of small birds. [To be hung up in all sparrow clubs]

Sunshine Dog Obedience School

'Excuse me while I rub the smoke out of my glass eye.'

Struggling with unwilling computers.

'You're doing it again, Milton! You're taking my words and twisting them beyond all recognition!'

'Don't blame me for running off. I was just following odors.'

They said the same thing, but in very different ways.

'This handy can of mace stops them in their tracks!'

'Tonight's first story starts with a great, big word that I can't read.'