Octogenarian Admirer Gifts

"I'm only attracted to older women."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"What old school? This is my life."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'170 years old - and they look that age from day one!'

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"I've gone for a retro phone."

"They just don't make 'em like Doc Malone anymore!"

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

"They say as cats age, they lose their curiosity."

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

"Wrinkles are the roadmap of a well lived life." "I think I've just found the M25."

'This isn't for real, pass it on.'

"When are you going to give in and buy a cell phone?"

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

"He's all right, but I'm looking for a guy who can really make me laugh."

"Hi! Just a quick call to say thanks for still using a landline."

"In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have called you 'Flash'. It just seems sarcastic now."

The End is Nigh!

"You can't teach an old dog to social distance."

'Grandpa, how did you settle things before litigation?'

Flea Market Reenactment