Oceanic Renovator Gifts

"That's really great , but what do you do if you want to remove the nail?"

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

'I found the termites!'

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

"We can be old-timey office workers for Halloween."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Fishing for Litter

WC problem.

'It's lovely. Have you actually built a flat-pack kitchen before?'

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

'I know it's hard to believe, but before this, I'd never built a thing!'

Sharon's more of a do-it-yourselfer.

Painting and decorating

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

"The distressed-style wood flooring we installed in the kitchen seems to have crept into Fred!"

The traveling Yard Sale.

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

Rep-Tiles.

F&E Shower and Tub Installers. You made a mistake installing my tub! What's your policy? We regrout the error.

Kitchen Made

'It's up for adoption. Just pay to have it fixed.'

Heaven - under new management.

'Look, I'm terribly sorry to interrupt you, but...'

'Help! I've painted myself into the fireplace...'

New Power Shower.

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

'Can't you workmen use the canteen for your tea break ?'

"They send me in after the works done to handle any complaints."

' I hope this adds a little enjoyment for you. '

Environmental disaster! Pardon? BP, the Gulf. It's madness. Think of the children! Wow, I can't believe what I'm hearing. You love big oil and hate environmentalists. But this spill has finally gotten to you. You're worried about the children? It's not just BP but all those polluters filling up the oceans with toxins. It's so selfish. If the oceans get stuffed with pollution now, where will generations to come dump their garbage? Oh, to think of our children's children having nowhere to put thei

"Not a problem Miss: If it's too tight, I'll open it up a bit for you..."

"It used to be a window."