Oceangoing Gifts

Wooden ship with a wooden anchor

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'Thank-you God.'

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

The Dubloon Stops Here

Lazy Octopus

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

When laundry ruled the waves.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"Privates Beach"

"We’re a lending aquarium."

'I blame global warming!'

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

Try me/try me/try me...

Dolphin friendly tuna

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

Turtle Hat

Dolphins playing on a seesaw.

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

A Preschool of Fish

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

Shellfie

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."