Oceangoing Gifts

Wooden ship with a wooden anchor

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'Thank-you God.'

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Lazy Octopus

The Dubloon Stops Here

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

When laundry ruled the waves.

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

Try me/try me/try me...

"Privates Beach"

"We’re a lending aquarium."

Man listening to seashell: 'Oh, Rub-ber Ducky, you're the one ...'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

Turtle Hat

Dolphin friendly tuna

'I blame global warming!'

Dolphins playing on a seesaw.

Clownfish entertain sea life by hitting each other in the face with octopi.

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

A Preschool of Fish

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

Shellfie

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'