Ocean Melody Lover Gifts

New, Improved Conch Shell.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

'Thank-you God.'

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Lazy Octopus

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

The Dubloon Stops Here

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

'I blame global warming!'

Shellfie

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

A Preschool of Fish

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

'OTHER SIDE!!!' - Learn to Surf

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

"Are you familiar with the term, 'Catch and Release', buster?"

'...I said we've been marooned.'

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

Happy Retirement

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

A sentimental woman talking to her lover on a ship

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

Two sharks, one says to the other' There's a child in me just trying to get out...'

Sharks hate practical jokes.

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"