Ocean-loving Metalhead Gifts

Life Guard.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'Thank-you God.'

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

The Dubloon Stops Here

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Lazy Octopus

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

'I blame global warming!'

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

Shellfie

A Preschool of Fish

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

'OTHER SIDE!!!' - Learn to Surf

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

"Are you familiar with the term, 'Catch and Release', buster?"

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'...I said we've been marooned.'

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

Happy Retirement

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

Two sharks, one says to the other' There's a child in me just trying to get out...'

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

A sentimental woman talking to her lover on a ship