Ocean-loving Metalhead T-Shirts

Life Guard.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

'Thank-you God.'

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

Lazy Octopus

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

The Dubloon Stops Here

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

'I blame global warming!'

Shellfie

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

A Preschool of Fish

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

'OTHER SIDE!!!' - Learn to Surf

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

"Are you familiar with the term, 'Catch and Release', buster?"

'...I said we've been marooned.'

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

Happy Retirement

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

A sentimental woman talking to her lover on a ship

Two sharks, one says to the other' There's a child in me just trying to get out...'