Occult Humorist Gifts

"Route US 666"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Zombie standup

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Clown God

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Atomic Bear: Part 21

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

Black Hole Research Institute - Office only has IN tray - no OUT tray.

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

"Sorry to bother you again but I forgot to ask you to fill out our service evaluation questionnaire."

"Shall we put it in play?"

"Wow! - String Theory must be true after all..!"

"Does someone want to go on a space walk? Who wants to go on a space walk....?"

Mars Rover

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

'No kidding?... That little place is H.G. Wells' birthplace?'

Asteroid Bennu

"That's want I call a meteor shower!"

Crisis.

UFO Society: Abducted for Lunch

Galaxy line - leaving Milky Way - entering Andromeda

Astronomers studying the 26 moons of Uranus...

'Hey, I said I was an enchanted prince! I mentioned nothing about being from earth!'