Obscure Word Aficionado T-Shirts

'Shroffing the piefort proved it was a fido.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Punt Cake

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Nuts to you, too."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

AA Meeting Here Today

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

The americanisation of vulture.

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Privates Beach"

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Didn't you just say that?"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"You have word-ill."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Punkins

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

"Who's next?"

Laxatives - "I'm after some comic relief."

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding