Obscure Word Aficionado T-Shirts

'Shroffing the piefort proved it was a fido.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Punt Cake

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Privates Beach"

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Nuts to you, too."

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

AA Meeting Here Today

The americanisation of vulture.

"Didn't you just say that?"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"You have word-ill."

Punkins

"Who's next?"

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Laxatives - "I'm after some comic relief."

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'