Obituary Column Collectors Pillows

The late Cretaceous period.

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."

Swan in a trenchcoat.

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

Misery lit...

Now that we've invented language, we have to be careful not to get quoted out of context.

'How could a man who seduced a hundred and thirty-two women find the time to write a twelve-volume memoir?'

I was like, Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown! Them my physical therapist was like, Well, don't wear the crown to bed! And now my head feels much better.

If you want everybody to know something: Censor it.

'God wants to see you.'

If Punditry Was Related to Real Life

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

Peter Green, 1946-2020

'So you're writing a book about your career,'

The Capital Sisters - Dory, Cory, and Io

"I name this child, Lovely, swampy, cars are evil, use public transport, stop the bypass,no to the link road, Fred"

The Antisocial Social club - new members not welcome.

"Life's what happens while you're busy quoting other people."

Clinton titles his book.

Why can't it also be an emotional shield? Live. Laugh. Love.

'I've been lucky with men - I haven't met any yet...'

"We're delighted to have been grown in the same laboratory as dolly the sheep and Ricky Martin..However, why are we all called Kevin?"

In Memory of What's-his-name.

'I can't believe you just said that Satchel's writing is better than mine.'

"Perhaps you should limit yourself to one Krugman column a week."

"Well Og, I guess today is not going to be one of those 'some days you eat the bear' kind of days."

The tuck stops here.

"Hate the screw-up, love the perp."

Confucius.

Doric, Ionic, and Ironic columns.

Three types of columns, Doric, Ionic, and Sophomoric.

'I'm an accountant, dear. I see columns everyday.'

Obituary Writer

Editor reasures subscriber that he will get an obituary