Obedience Training Skeptic Pillows

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Zombie pet tricks.

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Balloon dog training

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

'Mac, I told you last week a collar and a tag aren't enough - there's a leash law in this town.'

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

"Not until you fetch the other one."

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Text!"

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

'Out of the blue, my Master is now obsessed with having me sit, shake hands and rollover...'

Dog watching show called, 'After Obedience School Special'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'