Obedience School Skeptic Gifts

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Bad dog."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Balloon dog training

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

I think you started off sending him the wrong message when you named him Alpha.

"Get in step."

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

'Is he sitting?'

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"Let's try it again. This time with a tad less mania."

'His name is Ralph, but he'll only come to you if you shout 'biscuit'.'

"Of course I hear it when you say 'come'. I just choose to ignore it."

Discipline at Doggy School

'Did the mail come?'

'Oh, I just knew that darned obedience school was a mistake!'

'So that night, after you ordered no more table scraps...

"My teacher says I lack 'intellectual curiosity,' whatever that is."

Dog obedience school: with bone on teacher's table