Obedience Enforcer Gifts

"I've got him well trained."

'We're not interested in loyalty,but we do value obedience.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

Marv was trying to teach Rufus how to be a REAL retriever.

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

Zombie pet tricks.

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Mac, I told you last week a collar and a tag aren't enough - there's a leash law in this town.'

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

'Click it or ticket.'

No Smoking.

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

Dog Training.

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

'What a control freak!'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

'I'd watch this ref, he loves dishing out Punishment.'

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

I will not waste chalk kid...

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

Referee cop.

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'

'We only have a few rules around here, but we really enforce them.'

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'