Obedience Champion T-Shirts

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

"Shake! Good Dog."

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

Zombie pet tricks.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

'Mac, I told you last week a collar and a tag aren't enough - there's a leash law in this town.'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

"Not until you fetch the other one."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Text!"

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

'Out of the blue, my Master is now obsessed with having me sit, shake hands and rollover...'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'