Nutritious Nibbler Gifts

'I don't care if it has lettuce, tomato, special sauce on a sesame bun...it's still liver!'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"The bagels are better in New York."

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

"Since he retired, he hasn't quite figured out what to do with himself!"

'He calls himself a philanthropist, but would prefer Lord Philanthropist.'

My boat

"We grind our own catnip."

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

"To bat that stupid rolled-up sock around all morning or not to bat the stupid sock around, that is the question."

Supermarket Aisles.

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

Foodie Bank

Ditching Masks as Lockdown Eases

Man eating 'after work mints'

'Not eucalyptus leaves again!'

"He says he's three months late because of Readers' Block!"

"Man, I love roughing it out here... but this trail mix is making my fingers sticky!"

'Well, it might be hard to believe now, but in my youth, I was the fastest animal on land...'

'Second childhood menu, please!'

'If I collapse there's a cherry danish in my lunchbox.'

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

Book Burp