Nutritional Science Gifts

'This is great. A fruit you can eat, drink and wash your ears with.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"States of tofu"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Be Healthy

Raw food, after you leave for work.

But is it organic?

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Too much sugar."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Bad for you but to die for

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

'Like death by salad.'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'