Nutrition Savvy Pillows

"My advice about all the health foods you've been eating remember, living too long can kill you."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Bad for you but to die for

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

All Natural Nothing

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Champagne

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Diet considerations.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."