Nutella T-Shirts

"First the earthquake, then the flooding, and now we’re out of Nutella!!"

"Says here that 50 baboons escaped from the Paris Zoo! I think this explains the Nutella riots!"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

Cot Escape.

"The first three chapters read like they were written by some guy on a couch."

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

'Been working out?'

"My schedule is just nuts."

"A nutcracker!! Hey...this thing looks used."

Mixed Nuts

"Would you really want to read a book by a comedian that didn't have wide margins?"

"I think we are finally ready to buy a house! What's the market like?"

'How's your novel coming along?'

"Yo, novella!"

Dr. Jekyll turns into... Elvis Presley

No 10-1984

'Trust me. With this prosecuting attorney, we do NOT want you taking the witness stand in your own defense!'

"Doctor, there is a correlation between violence and the low-fat diet. Right now, I'd kill for a doughnut!"

'I suggest we back away slowly and dig another tunnel: This is an unexploded ordnance...'

"Getting ready for the auditor again?"

Chestnut crafts

I still say you're going overboard.

Good news! You've got a book in you, just waiting to come out!

The walnut has a brain the size of a dinosaur's.

Almonds, pecans, pistachios, cashews

Other Walks of Shame

Ceramics Dept. (You Break It, You Bought It.) Book Dept. (You Speed-Read It, You bought It.)

The Nuts at Home...

'I still enjoy nuts, but... Quiet! Here comes another one.'