Nurturing Princess Gifts

Girl's playing with dolls

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

A midwife holding a baby

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

Fitness Programme for babies

Men explained.

'So this is goodbye then!'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

The Cat Spa

"I'm so good at this!"

'Honey, what's wrong?! Why are you crying?'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"Delia, there is no such thing as the boogeyman. Now climate change … that is real."

"How are you getting on with your new baby?"

"Bottled or breast?"

"Wanna swap?"

"I don't want to sound desperate, but either you transform me with a kiss or I end up dissected in a ninth-grade science lab."

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

"...For most of us, work has become home, and home has become work!"

'Anorexia definitely isn't in this girl's vocabulary.'

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

Beauty regime

'It's hard to believe that at home, she's a mommy.'

'Wait a minute! I want it stirred, not shaken!'

'Well, Mary, you've already screwed up you first two kids. This could be you last chance...'

'I'm not comfort eating . . . she's comfort feeding.'

Dragon enjoying a drink with knight.

Why it's called child-rearing.

'I'm all into recycling, but I won't miss mom's regurgitation thing one bit!'