Nursing Anecdotes Appreciator Pillows

"Uh, oh...I was supposed to rub this on your back..."

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

Hot cross buns

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

"I THINK I've got an app for that!"

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

Are you sure you're not holding your breath?

Some people have their own methods of dealing with a shortage of nurses

'Can you believe I was open for six months, and not one single client?!?'

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

"Without the drone we wouldn't have made it on time!"

'This get well card is from the nurses you have been complaining about.'

Florence Nightingale

"I'd like to request a transfer from the children's ward."

It's not catching, is it? - The doctor hates to catch things.

'I don't mind the night shift except for one thing, I am afraid of the dark!'

'Death doesn't frighten me, but the night nurse does...'

'Have my bed nurse, you look terrible.'

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

'Do I need a pin number to make a withdrawal?'

'You're lucky -- all I have is a PRACTICAL nurse.'

"Quite unexpected......he just slipped into 'Happy Baby' and we never got him back."

'She's a nurse in the childrens' ward.'

'Next we tried continuous intravenous drip fluid therapy...'

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? Are you voting for Trump or Clinton? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in grade school when little Chester Oswald threw my liverwurst sandwich on the ground. The schoolmarm gave me a terrible choice: I could either eat the dirt-covered sandwich, or I could go hungry. So I chose the only thing I could choose ... I switched my sandwich with hers, and when she yakked up her lunch I laughed and laughed. So ... you're saying ... what?

'Anybody here losing the will to live?'

Flo tries to look dignified while waiting to hand in her stool sample.

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'I'd say you have a perfect aptitude for nursing.'

"Do you need your pillow fluffed up?"