Nursing Anecdotes Appreciator Pillows

"Uh, oh...I was supposed to rub this on your back..."

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

Hot cross buns

"I THINK I've got an app for that!"

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

Are you sure you're not holding your breath?

Some people have their own methods of dealing with a shortage of nurses

'Can you believe I was open for six months, and not one single client?!?'

"Without the drone we wouldn't have made it on time!"

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

Florence Nightingale

'This get well card is from the nurses you have been complaining about.'

"I'd like to request a transfer from the children's ward."

It's not catching, is it? - The doctor hates to catch things.

'I don't mind the night shift except for one thing, I am afraid of the dark!'

'Death doesn't frighten me, but the night nurse does...'

'Have my bed nurse, you look terrible.'

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

'You're lucky -- all I have is a PRACTICAL nurse.'

"Quite unexpected......he just slipped into 'Happy Baby' and we never got him back."

'Do I need a pin number to make a withdrawal?'

'She's a nurse in the childrens' ward.'

'Next we tried continuous intravenous drip fluid therapy...'

'Anybody here losing the will to live?'

Flo tries to look dignified while waiting to hand in her stool sample.

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'I'd say you have a perfect aptitude for nursing.'

"Do you need your pillow fluffed up?"

''AAAIIIGGGHHH'...So would that be a 'yes' to the question 'I believe my needs are understood'?'