Nursery Rhyme Sleuth Pillows

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Are you made of sugar?'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

"Well, that one got away."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

'And you're telling me this, why?'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

If you're happy and you know it...

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."